The “Bennifer” reunion was the big headline of 2021, but now in early 2023, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are a settled married couple. It only took them 20 years and two engagements to get there.
Their first round began in 2002, after they starred in that year's romcom, Gigli. Affleck eventually proposed to J.Lo, but they broke things off in 2004. Since then, they both went on to marry other people, have kids, and get divorced. They’ve also both dated other people since those divorces. A month after she ended things with Alex Rodriguez, Lopez was linked romantically to Affleck once more, in May 2021. They were married in the summer 2022 and are still enjoying their first year of being newlyweds.
Here’s everything we know about Lopez and Affleck’s relationship, from the first time they met to their reunion, 19 years later.
Jump to:
- Early 2002
- July 2002
- November 2002
- July 2003
- September 2003
- January 2004
- June 2004
- October 2004
- June 2005
- April 2021
- May 2021
- June 2021
- July 2021
- August 2021
- September 2021
- October 2021
- November 2021
- December 2021
- February 2022
- March 2022:
- April 2022
- May 2022
- June 2022
- July 2022
- August 2022
- September 2022
- November 2022
- December 2022
- January 2023
- February 2023
- April 2023
- September 2023
- October 2023
- November 2023
- December 2023
- February 2024
- March 2024
- April 2024
- May 2024
- June 2024
- July 2024
- August 2024
- October 2024
Early 2002
In early 2002, Lopez and Affleck met on the set of Gigli. Lopez was married to her second husband Cris Judd at the time of their connection.
July 2002
By mid-year, Judd and Lopez were separated, and she filed for divorce two days after she was spotted kissing Affleck at her surprise 32nd birthday party. This was their first moment of being romantically linked in public.
November 2002
Affleck makes a memorable appearance in J.Lo’s “Jenny from the Block” music video, which recreates some of the issues facing the superstar such as constantly dodging paparazzi when you're in a highly-publicized relationship. In one scene, Affleck caresses J.Lo's butt, an image became a frequent topic of conversation.
In 2008, Affleck said, per Fox News, “If I have a regret, it was doing the [‘Jenny from the Block’] music video. It not only makes me look like a petulant fool, but it surely qualifies as ungentlemanly.”
That same month, Affleck proposed to Lopez as she met his family in Boston. Lopez dropped the news during an interview with Diane Sawyer, describing the moment he asked for her hand.
“It’s just a blanket, a quilt of rose petals, all over the whole entire house,” Lopez said. “So many candles, and vases, bouquets. And my song ‘Glad’ was playing ... I walk in, and I was just overwhelmed. I wasn’t expecting it, and I was just like ‘Oh my God.’”
She continued, “I had cried a lot over sadness over the years. And for the first time in my life, I cried incredible purging tears of happiness. It was the most cleansing feeling and the most wonderful feeling I had ever had.”
The famous engagement ring was made from 6.1-carat pink diamond (her favorite color at the time) by Harry Winston that reportedly cost $2.5 million.
“I was just like, ‘Oh God. It can’t be pink on top of it.’ That was just too much for me to handle,” Lopez said.
July 2003
The couple strutted the red carpet together for the premiere of Gigli, where Lopez takes the engagement ring for a walk.
September 2003
On the day before their wedding, Lopez and Affleck shocked fans by announcing their decision to postpone the ceremony. They released a joint statement reading:
Due to the excessive media attention surrounding our wedding, we have decided to postpone the date. When we found ourselves seriously contemplating hiring three separate “decoy brides” at three different locations, we realized that something was awry. We began to feel that the spirit of what should have been the happiest day of our lives could be compromised. We felt what should have been a joyful and sacred day could be spoiled for us, our families, and our friends.
January 2004
Around four months later, Chicago Tribune reported that the pair were officially over. Lopez's rep said, “I am confirming the reports that Jennifer Lopez has ended her engagement to Ben Affleck. At this difficult time, we ask that you respect her privacy.”
June 2004
And about six months after that, on June 5, Lopez married Latin music star Marc Anthony. The new couple had two children, twins Emme and Max, who were born in 2008. Lopez and Anthony separated in 2011 and then divorced in 2014.
October 2004
A few months after Lopez moved on into a new marriage, Affleck was spotted with Jennifer Garner at the Cardinals vs. Red Sox World Series game. They first met on the set of Pearl Harbor, but supposedly became closer friends while filming 2003's Daredevil. This sighting was the debut of their romantic relationship.
June 2005
Affleck and Garner are married a year after Lopez and Anthony. Their break up came in 2018. During their marraige, Garner and Affleck had three children together: Violet, Seraphina, and Sam.
April 2021
In an extensive cover story for InStyle, Jennifer Lopez's whole history was covered, including her famous ex Affleck. The pair seemed to be already on good terms, because Affleck was tapped for a comment. He had glowing words to share about Lopez.
“I thought I had a good work ethic, but I was completely humbled and blown away by what she was committed to doing day in and day out, the seriousness in which she took her work, the quiet and dedicated way she went about accomplishing her goals, and then how she would go back and redouble her efforts,” Affleck gushed. “She remains, to this day, the hardest-working person I’ve come across in this business. She has great talent, but she has also worked very hard for her success, and I’m so happy for her that she seems, at long last, to be getting the credit she deserves.”
Did he say this after they reconnected, or was she drawn back to him by flattery? Unclear, but Page Six reported Affleck was seen heading to J.Lo’s home in California just a few weeks after her break up with Rodriguez in her white Escalade SUV, where he spent “a few hours,” according to a source. An inside source denied dating rumors at the time, stating, “They are friends.”
May 2021
Those friends jetted to Montana on a romantic getaway in early May. A source told Us Weekly, “Ben and Jen spent several days together in Montana. It was just the two of them on vacation together. Big Sky is a special place to Ben.”
The source added, “They looked very happy together.”
TMZ reported that the former exes had been in contact for several months before meeting up in person, exchanging emails to get to know one another again. Their correspondence began in early February, and multiple sources “with direct knowledge” claimed Affleck’s emails were not “just friendly...but more loving and longing for Jen.”
By the end of the month, E! News was reporting on Lopez and Affleck's bi-coastal relationship, with Affleck based in Los Angeles and Lopez in Miami.
“They have no problem meeting up wherever,” a source told them. The insider said that “things are going very well” and that “Ben is happy to be a part of her life in Miami, where they spent a lot of time at home being low-key and relaxing together. They have had a great few days that feels effortless and easy.”
On May 26, Us Weekly reported that Lopez and Affleck were officially back together. A source said, “Jen and Ben are both very happy with each [other] and are excited to see where the relationship goes. They are full-on dating and very happy together.”
June 2021
By mid-summer, E! News also reported that Bennifer is really back.
A insider told the outlet that Lopez was “crazy about Ben.”
“He spoils her with love and is very witty and charming” they continued. “He’s a man’s man, and she finds him so attractive and strong. She’s in it for the long term and sees her future with him.”
Rumors began that Lopez could be moving to Los Angeles after she was seen looking for schools for her kids in the neighborhood. On June 7, Entertainment Tonight reported that the pair were telling their friends that they are a couple, not just dating.
“When they first reconnected, they had to see if the spark was still there because it had been a while. It was, so now they are both fully in it,” a source told the outlet.
And then it happened: Lopez moved from Miami to LA, with a source telling E! that the star would “be between L.A. and the Hamptons this summer, but L.A. will be her base. She is looking at schools for her kids in the fall.”
On June 11, a source told People that Lopez’s mom, Guadalupe Rodríguez, filmed a cameo on a new Affleck project.
“In the past, Jennifer’s mom and Ben were very close. Guadalupe loved Ben. She was sad when they couldn't work things out years ago,” the source told People. “She is thrilled that they are back together now.”
The source added, “Jennifer is very close with her mom. It's very important to her that the person she is with gets along with her mom. Jennifer loves that Ben and Guadalupe hung out in Las Vegas. They both love gambling and had fun together at the Wynn hotel.”
July 2021
On Friday, July 2, the couple was seen at Universal Studios Hollywood with Max and Emme, and Samuel, showing that their kids were getting to know one another, too. They then headed to the Hamptons, where they were seen holding hands.
That same month, Apple Music 1 released an interview with Zane Lowe on Apple Music 1, in which Lopez shared how great she'd been doing because something was “happening again” though she did not mention Affleck.
“I’m super happy,” she said. “I know people are always wondering. How are you? What’s going on? Are you okay? This is it. I’ve never been better. And I want my people who care about me, because I care about them so much, to know that I’ve really gotten to a place in my life where I’m great on my own. And I think once you get to that place, then amazing things happen to you that you never imagine in your life happening again. And so that is where I’m at. And I love all the love that’s coming my way right now and all of the good wishes. And I just want everybody to know that it’s the best time. It’s the best time of my life.”
She got more specific in a mid-July interview with the Ebro on Apple Music 1, first reflecting on her breakup with Rodriguez.
“Once you get to the point where you're like, ‘This is not right for me, or this doesn’t feel good, or I need to make an adjustment here,” she said. “‘This is not really about anybody else but me.’ Once you do that, stuff starts falling into place.”
On July 22, Leah Remini posted a video of photos from her birthday party, including a photo of Affleck and Lopez together, making it their Instagram debut.
But Affleck didn't make it onto Lopez's grid until July 24, in a photo of them kissing during her 52nd birthday. They celebrated together on a yacht in St. Tropez and seemingly re-created the scene from Lopez’s “Jenny from the Block” with paparazzi photographing Affleck rubbing his girlfriend's butt.
A source told People that this was “not a summer fling.”
The source added, “[Lopez and Affleck] are planning a future together. They have serious talks about how they can make it all work. Between their relationship, their kids, and jobs, they know it will be tricky to balance it all. Jennifer is the happiest. She keeps gushing about how amazing Ben is.”
August 2021
The hot and heavy couple are photographed outside of Westfield mall in Los Angeles in matching black ensembles holding hands. Lopez wore a sleeveless black top and belted houndstooth skirt, with her beau in black button-down and jeans.
Just weeks earlier, Us Weekly reported that Lopez and Affleck are “seriously talking about getting married.”
A source told the outlet, “They are both madly in love and don’t want to let one another go this time.”
September 2021
Affleck and Lopez made their red carpet debut at the 2021 Venice Film Festival's premiere of The Last Duel, with the actor wearing a black suit, while Lopez stunned in a white plunge dress by Georges Hobeika and Cartier jewelry, the official jewelry sponsor of the festival.
Affleck also joined Lopez that month at the Met Gala, but she walked the red carpet alone in her western-themed Ralph Lauren look. The couple were later photographed kissing inside the venue with their masks on.
A source told Us Weekly, “Going red carpet official was a wonderful experience, and they were just so proud to shout their love from the rooftops like they did. The messages were pouring in from all over Hollywood and beyond, saying how cute they looked, and that meant the world to both Ben and J.Lo.”
October 2021
Lopez had to be separated from her man for a few months while she worked on set in Vancouver for Netflix thriller The Mother while Affleck shot Robert Rodriguez's Hypnotic in Austin, Texas. A source told E! that they were making regular visits to get through.
“They are both filming during the week on location, but they have met up whenever possible,” the source explained. “Ben has been in L.A., and J.Lo flew in from Vancouver to spend time with him. They hung out at his house and then left for the airport together on Sunday night. J.Lo has had her kids visit her in Vancouver, but she is also coming back and forth to L.A.”
“They are working out their schedules so that they can be sure to see each other every few days,” the source added. “Things are good between them, and they are staying connected. They are busy with their projects but also making time to be together.”
That month, Affleck was asked by Extra how he was feeling, and though he didn't say Lopez had anything to do with it, he claimed to be doing very well indeed.
“I’m very happy,” he said. “It is a very happy time in my life. Life is good. I love this movie [The Tender Bar], and The Last Duel, October 15, which I am really proud of.”
November 2021
Lopez brought her twins Max and Emme to Los Angeles to join Affleck for the Thanksgiving holiday, their first since reconnecting as a couple.
December 2021
For the first time, Affleck describes rekindling his romance with Lopez in an interview with WSJ Magazine.
“I can say that it’s definitely beautiful to me,” he said of how they got back together. “And, you know, one of the things I really value across all facets of my life now is that it was handled in a way that reflected that. My life now reflects not just the person that I want to be, but the person that I really feel like I am—which is not perfect, but somebody who tries very hard and cares very much about being honest and authentic and accountable. It’s hard to say who benefits more, without going into gossipy detail. I could just say that I feel great about being very healthy. And it is a good story. It’s a great story. And, you know, maybe one day I’ll tell it. I’ll write it all out...And then I’ll light it on fire.”
They were seen shortly after in Los Angeles at a Boston Celtics versus the Los Angeles Lakers NBA game sitting courtside, with their arms wrapped around each other.
February 2022
Lopez told Rolling Stone why she doesn't think they're breaking up anytime soon.
“I don’t think we would have got back together if we thought that was where it was headed,” she said. “We feel like what we found again is so much more important, and how we protect that and how we live our lives—what to share, what not to share—is the balance that we have now, the benefit of experience and the wisdom that we gained over the years.”
March 2022:
Lopez was finishing up her filming for The Mother in Gran Canaria, Spain, and Affleck flew out to see her.
April 2022
For a second time, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are engaged! A rep for J.Lo confirmed the news to People. She also shared her newly engaged status on her On the JLo newsletter for fans, teasing it with a video on Twitter.
“Major announcement!!!! OnTheJLo.com,” she wrote, including a diamond ring emoji in her bio.
TMZ reported that same week that the engagement had happened, sharing photos of a shining diamond on her left finger. The ring ended up being very similar to the one he originally proposed with, except instead of a pink diamond, it was made with an 8.5 carat natural green diamond. In an earlier newsletter, Lopez wrote about the significance of the color green.
“I always say the color green is my lucky color. Maybe you can remember a certain green dress,” she said, referencing the green Versace dress she wore to the 2000 Grammys. “I've realized there are many moments in my life where amazing things happened when I was wearing green.”
May 2022
Lopez and Affleck are seen in Los Angeles surveying a $68 million dollar mansion in Bel Air with Lopez's sister, Linda, as well as a real estate agent.
They were reportedly looking for a space that can fit their blended family and had landed on a $55 million estate that then fell out of escrow. An insider told Entertainment Tonight that the pair wanted to be able to find a house so they're able to “spend every night together when they can.”
The insider added, “It's the next step in their relationship and since they are both in it for the long run, they can't wait to have a home together.”
The mansion had 12 bedrooms and 24 bathrooms.
June 2022
The couple were photographed by paparazzi sharing a kiss on Affleck's Los Angeles film set. Lopez had recently praised Affleck's parenting in honor of Father's Day and how he's been with her own twins, Max and Emme.
Lopez wrote in her On the J.Lo newsletter, “My other dedication this year is to my fiancé [Ben Affleck]... I have had a front row seat to watching how you father for over a year now and I have never seen [a] more consistent, loving and selfless father. And [it’s] not just to your own kids but also without obligation to mine as well. You show up and put them first always. You are affectionate and engaged in every moment they are with you and it’s honestly one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. Thank you for all you do for all of us. We appreciate and love you beyond measure.”
Lopez shared a video of her and Affleck, too.
“Happy Father’s Day to the most caring, loving, affectionate, consistent and selfless Daddy ever,” she wrote. “#HappyFathersDay my love.”
July 2022
On Saturday, July 16, Affleck and Lopez obtained a marriage license in Clark County, NV, according to TMZ, and were officially married. A source close to the couple confirmed the union.
Afterwards, they headed to Paris with some of their children for a honeymoon slash work trip for J.Lo. After lunch, they enjoyed a two-hour private tour of the Seine, followed by a visit to the Picasso Museum. That night, they rallied for more activities and left their hotel in more formal dinner wear, holding hands and making each other laugh.
A source told People that the couple was “like two teens ... very loving, very attentive.”
They added, “There weren't a lot of people that time of the morning and they weren't distracted. It was just them.”
Another eyewitness claimed the couple were kissing on a park bench for two hours.
“Whether it was holding hands, a caress, touching one another on the back ... they never let go of one another,” they said. “They were like two bees stuck in honey.”
August 2022
In August, to follow up on their whirlwind Vegas ceremony, Lopez and Affleck had a blowout party weekend and wedding at Affleck's Georgia estate, according to People, Entertainment Tonight, and E!, who interviewed people who got to attend or are allegedly close to the couple.
People's source said that the even was “perfect. It was a dream for her,” adding, “She loved having all the kids there. She loved the location. It all felt very special.”
Lopez “feels extremely happy being married to Ben. She keeps saying ‘my husband’ and it's very cute,” the source added. E! reported the ceremony was 20 minutes long and officiated by life coach Jay Shetty.
“At the end of the ceremony, they posed for family photos on the dock by the water,” the source said. “It was very romantic and classic. They had an old-fashioned car parked in front of the estate ready to take them away. J.Lo was ecstatic and there were a lot of tears of joy and laughter. Her smile said it all.”
Entertainment Tonight wrote that guests were shuttled from their Savannah, Georgia hotel to Affleck's Riceboro estate in cars provided by Coastal Limo.
“Guests were gathering at The Perry Lane Hotel [in Savannah] to head to Jennifer and Ben's wedding,” the source said. “Everyone is dressed in white with most women in white dresses and gowns, and most men in white suits, a majority in linen material, but the dress code features a wide variety. Some men are in white shorts and sneakers and there is a female guest in a white fringe leather jacket and sparkly cowboy hat.”
Lopez and Affleck were “so gracious all weekend,” a source told Entertainment Tonight. “They have been wonderful towards all the staff helping with the event, from the limo shuttle service company and beyond. You can tell how in love they are and how comfortable they are with each other. They can't wait to continue to celebrate all weekend long with the people they love the most.”
September 2022
Lopez shared select photos from their wedding in her On the JLo newsletter, adding details on the ceremony, reception, and day-after brunch.
She wrote that Affleck said in his wedding speech, “This is heaven. Right Here. We’re in it now.”
“The truth is, I never had one doubt,” she wrote. “All week I felt the calm and easy certainty that we were in God’s hands...” and though it was raining, the clouds parted right before the ceremony, “and, at long-last, I started my walk down the stairs that would become the aisle that would lead me toward the rest of my life. Ahhhhh...it was actually happening...”
“Ben and I talked about Marc Cohn’s ‘True Companion’ as the perfect wedding love song in this very house more than twenty years ago,” she continued. “Though Ben didn’t know, I asked Marc to surprise him by singing it at our wedding and he was lovely and generous to come. As I walked down the aisle, the first song he played wasn’t ‘True Companion’ however. It was his ‘The Things We’ve Handed Down’—a song about the wonderful mystery of children—something we could only guess at back then, but it was the perfect choice as our five children preceded me on the walk. The twenty years between those dreams of youth and the adult world of love and family we embraced that day, brought more to this marriage than either of us ever could have imagined. We weren’t only marrying one another; we were marrying these children into a new family. They were the only people we asked to stand up for us in our wedding party. To our great honor and joy, each one did.”
November 2022
The couple shared their first Thanksgiving Day as a married couple, heading out to her Hamptons home. Lopez posted an Instagram Reel of the holiday, showing her sisters Leslie and Lynda, her twins, Max and Emme, and, of course, her husband. Over the collage of pics, her song “The One (Version 2)” played, and in one image Affleck can be seen discussing something with 14-year-old Max.
“This Is … Thanksgiving Holiday #ThisIsMeNow #PhotoDump #Family,” Lopez wrote in the caption.
Later that month, Lopez and Affleck supported friend Hugh Jackman in his leading role in a new production of The Music Man on Broadway. They were photographed holding hands as they left the theater.
December 2022
Lopez spoke warmly of Jennifer Garner in her December 2022 Vogue interview, complimenting her parenting style and saying Garner is “an amazing co-parent, and they [Affleck and Garner] work really well together.”
“The transition is a process that needs to be handled with so much care,” Lopez said of blending their families. “They [the kids] have so many feelings. They’re teens. But it’s going really well so far. What I hope to cultivate with our family is that his kids have a new ally in me and my kids have a new ally in him, someone who really loves and cares about them but can have a different perspective and help me see things that I can’t see with my kids because I’m so emotionally tied up.”
The couple reportedly threw a holiday party at their Hollywood home, with a celebrity guest list that included Kim Kardashian, Doja Cat, Eric André, Vanessa Hudgens, and Jane Fonda.
“Jen and Ben had so much fun at their holiday party,” the source told ET. “They planned it together and everything came together perfectly with special touches and details. Everyone had a blast... Jen’s favorite holiday is Christmas, so she always goes all out, but this is a really exciting time for them as a couple since it’s their first Christmas as husband and wife.”
After the holiday, J.Lo shared intimate details of their first Christmas married On The J.Lo newsletter with all of her fans.
“I've been hunkering down at home (and loving it) since I wrapped my last movie, just getting ready for the holidays!” Lopez wrote. She added that she themed her song around hummingbirds to honor the track on her new album This Is Me…Now.
“To me, hummingbirds are messengers of love,” she explained. “They're also the fastest bird but they always have time to stop, eat something sweet and smell the roses. I identify with them, but more than anything, whenever I see one, I feel like it's a sign from God that everything is going to be OK.”
She continued, “So, I decided this year that the hummingbird would be a perfect theme. We have blended families, doubled the people, doubled the fun, doubled the love, doubled the presents and tripled the chaos!!”
January 2023
On The Today Show, Lopez announced, “We [Ben and I] moved in together. The kids moved in together. It’s been, like, a really kind of emotional transition, but at the same time all your dreams coming true and it’s just been a phenomenal year, like best year, I think, since my kids were born.”
During a press conference, she also briefly mentioned wedding planning, saying, “Planning a wedding is a lot. Very stressful.”
That's what prompted their elopement in Vegas, as reported by Insider.
“I think that’s why we ran off to Vegas and got married there first,” she said. “Took all the pressure off of the big family wedding that we were having.”
And Affleck did help her arrange the Georgia wedding.
“He has an amazing eye,” she said. “He has incredible taste, but everything we do, we try and do it together.”
The couple were also seen that month with Garner, photographed together at an event to support 14-year-old Seraphina. Daily Mail shared pics of the three arriving at a performance hall in Santa Monica, along with Lopez's children Emme and Max and Affleck's kids Violet and Samuel.
February 2023
Affleck was Lopez's date at the 2023 Grammys, and became the meme of the night after the camera caught him looking pretty miserable. A seat filler told TikTok that the couple realized Affleck was trending mid-ceremony.
The TikToker @almostannna explained, “J.Lo showed Ben Affleck the phone and was like, ‘Oh my god, honey, look at this meme circulating about you,’ and he was like, ‘Oh god, this again.’ Like, he knew during the performance that he was a meme. Like he knew, and he also chose just not to change his expression. I love how unbothered that is. So, I know that she was like on her phone and saw it and was like, ‘Honey this is so funny, look at this,’ and he was like, ‘Jesus Christ.’”
A source confirmed to Entertainment Tonight that they did notice it.
“Jen and Ben are both aware of the memes of Ben circulating,” the source said. “She had shown him a few photos that night and he just brushed it off. He is not fazed by what the internet has to say about him.”
The source said that as for the memes, “they are not paying too much attention to them,” and Lopez “actually thinks some of the memes are funny.”
Another source told Entertainment Tonight that Affleck was feeling off that night.
“Jen [Lopez, Affleck’s wife] and Ben had a fun date night out at the Grammys, but they have both been very busy working on several projects, and Ben was feeling tired,” the source explained. “He wanted to go and support Jen, but he wasn’t his usual self.”
The source added, “Jen had a great time and wanted Ben to be excited to be there, but she understood where he was coming from. Jen knows Ben is a great husband and they still made sure to have a good night together....[She] knows how supportive Ben is towards her and her work, but also gets that Ben is more of a homebody, and it isn’t his thing to be out at events all the time.”
Lopez shared her own video of herself and Affleck from the event, captioning it, “Always the best time with my love, my husband.”
April 2023
Ahead of the release of Lopez's album This Is Me...Now, Affleck offered glowing praise of his wife as a musician on SmartLess podcast's April 3 episode. He said, via Billboard, “Here’s this incredible actress and this incredible performer. And then we’re sitting in the car, you know, and I’m humming along, like I will, you know, to the radio. And then a professional singer goes ahead and sings along and you kind of feel like, ‘Well that’s embarrassing.’”
“I do love her music, it’s brilliant and I know all of it,” he added.
With the tracks explicitly written to him, “Dear Ben” (from 2002's This Is Me...Then) and “Dear Ben Pt. II” (from This Is Me...Now), Affleck said, “The songs that have been written about me have been written by the greatest performer in the history of the world, Jennifer Lopez. I don’t know if they are exactly about me, as maybe inspired by me because there are some negative things in there. She’s amazing.”
September 2023
In September, Affleck was seen being affectionate with ex-wife Jennifer Garner a few times, driving in Santa Monica with her and sharing a hug in the car as Garner bid goodbye to Affleck and their daughter Seraphina, who was seated by her dad in front. The casual friendliness spurred publication Closer Weekly to allege Lopez was “jealous” of the interactions.
A source told the DailyMail that nothing could be further from the truth and Lopez supports their “happy co-parenting” relationship. The source even suggested that Affleck's new marriage is the glue holding his and Garner's peace together.
“One of the things that made [Garner] and [Affleck] get to a better place was—and is—JLO,” they shared. “Ben is healthy. The drama of the past and the emotions of divorce are long gone and they are all making it work.”
Lopez and Garner are “friendly” and their kids “love each other.”
“It is really a very happy co-parenting situation,” the inside continued. “Everything is really good right now and should be the same in the near and distant future.”
As for their marriage, one year after their wedding ceremony, Lopez and Affleck are doing great.
“Their relationship is still on fire,” claimed the source. “They are really happy with each other, and there's no drama in their relationship right now at all.”
The couple is hoping to get back to work post-WGA and SAG-AFTRA strike, but they've been enjoying their time together during the pause.
“They want to get back to work and are looking forward to the strikes being over but they are also very much enjoying the more time they are spending with each other,” the source said. “[Affleck] is writing, JLO is writing music, so they still have outlets to create while they enjoy each other's time together.”
October 2023
Lopez spoke to ELLE.com about her relationship with Affleck when discussing her Intimissimi collection. When asked if he influences her lingerie style at all for her nights out with him, she said, “Honestly, there’s no difference really from how I dress for a date night or special occasion with my husband versus how I dress for myself. He loves me for who I am, and so the more authentic I can be to myself I’ve noticed the more I feel his love. I dress for my own confidence and for what makes me feel good and that radiates when I love how I feel and what I put on my body. It’s that energy that makes people gravitate towards you, not the outfit specifically.”
November 2023
On Friday night, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck hosted a poker game in Las Vegas alongside the weekend's big Formula 1 Grand Prix race. Money raised at the event, held at Lavo in The Venetian Resort, went to Affleck’s non-profit Eastern Congo Initiative. On the red carpet, he and J.Lo flashed each other some loving looks.
Lopez was wearing a stunning cutaway dress designed by David Koma with a choker neckline and rhinestone panels. Affleck wore a three-piece blue suit over a white button-down.
Also at the event, were celebs Jon Hamm, Anna Osceola, Jimmy Kimmel, Colton Underwood, James Marsden, Tobey Maguire, and Cara Delevingne.
On Thanksgiving, the couple hosted Thanksgiving dinner at their mansion in Beverly Hills and she offered a glimpse at their gorgeously decorated table in an advertisement on Instagram for her Delolo drink line. It included bottle of the alcoholic mix and her favorite Hermès plates.”
She described the gorgeous decorations, saying, “We used oranges, lemons and persimmons for the centerpiece. We layered in some greens to make it look festive.”
On Friday, November 24, Lopez was seen doing her post-Thanksgiving workout at Tracy Anderson’s gym in Los Angeles. Afterwards, Affleck awaited his wife in a black Mercedes. The actress wore a white crop top by Prince with gray leggings and platform sneakers.
December 2023
Lopez and Affleck attended ELLE’s Women in Hollywood event together on December 5, kissing on the red carpet. Lopez was an honoree:
Lopez spoke with Entertainment Tonight on the red carpet of the event about collaborating with Affleck on This Is Me... Now: The Film. He is a co-writer on the project. “We collaborate very well together, and nobody knows my story more than he does,” Lopez said. “So we were able to kind of sit down and really dig into it, in a way that I don't think any other writer could've done with me.”
A day later, a source spoke to Entertainment Tonight about what makes Lopez and Affleck’s relationship work so well. “Jen and Ben always make sure to set aside time for each other every day,” the source said. “Whether they are physically together or they are traveling and in different places for work, their commitment to one another and carving out time as a couple are major pillars in making things work.”
February 2024
While promoting her new album, Lopez told ET that that her relationship with Affleck pushed her back into creating.
“When Ben and I got back together, it was just like, ‘I want to make music again, I want to get back in the studio,'” Lopez said. “I was very, very inspired.”
She went on, “Half the time, I was thinking, like, ‘This is amazing! I am so excited that I’m doing this!’ And then half time time I was like, ‘Why are you doing this? You are so crazy. But I think that’s what being an artist is about, you know, you have to. That’s the difference between being an artist and not being an artist, how vulnerable you can get.”
In the end, it was worth it.
“Once the music was done, it felt so special to me,” she said. “It felt like something very different than I had ever done, even though I’ve written about love my whole career.”
She described the album as “a little bit more evolved and healed… [and] kind of magical.”
On February 13, Affleck and Lopez attended the premiere of her film This Is Me...Now: A Love Story together. They kissed in front of photographers.
During an interview with Apple Music’s Zane Lowe to promote the project, Lopez explained for the first time when she and Affleck really first broke up after their 2003 wedding was delayed:
“We didn’t break up right at that moment, it happened over the series of the next few months,” she said. “Because what it did was it casted doubt in me, and both of us, about what our relationship was, and where it was going, I think. And I knew in my heart that I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life, I knew that. But it didn’t feel like we were going to make it. And so, it scared me.
“It was very hard, it was a very sad moment of letting go of somebody that you truly love because you just can’t figure it out. You just don’t have the capacity and the ability at that moment, emotionally, to figure it out. We just weren’t mature enough in that way. Even though he was in his late twenties, I was in my early thirties, it still, it wasn’t...We weren’t ready to deal with and look at each other and go, what we have is real, we need to buckle down, we need to do some work. We just weren’t there yet. And so, we go, ‘Oh, this is what people do, they break up when things get hard, and we’re going to go our separate ways.’ And we went, and we both tried, and found other people, and had beautiful children, and had other families, and then even had other relationships after that.
“And it wasn’t until both of us had done, I know for me, a lot of work, and got into a place where I was like, you know what? I’m totally good on my own. I’m chill, I love my life, I have this amazing career that I’ve built for myself, I have these amazing children...I have great friends, that’s when he showed back up.”
Lopez said that for Affleck, “funnily enough, he said he had had the same type of experience. And that’s kind of how it went down.”
On February 26, J.Lo attended a special screening of The Greatest Love Story Never Told, in Los Angeles, a documentary about her movie, This Is Me...Now. During a Q&A with the film’s producer, Lopez admitted that it was “scary” being so open and vulnerable on the project, but also working with Affleck.
“The other scary part was that I was bringing into it my husband, who was kind of the reluctant participant, silent participant and all,” she explained.
“I just said to him during one of the parts of the movie, I was like, ‘Is this weird?’ He’s like, ‘Yes.’ I said, ‘You’re crazy.’ I told him he was crazy, not me. But I know that I’m a crazy one. I get that part,” Lopez added. “But I really feel like as an artist, you have to be vulnerable. You have to, even when you’re playing a role, have to get down to the real parts of yourself to share what it’s like to be human. And that is a scary thing to do.”
But even though Affleck might been a “reluctant participant,” it actually was his idea to document the whole process.
“It wasn’t my idea to photograph every single moment of doing this. To be honest, when we started making the film, it just kind of got more and more bizarre and my husband, who had a front seat to the whole thing really, was the one who was like, ‘We should be capturing this,’ and he brought on this amazing team and that’s kind of how it happened.’”
The next day, her documentary was released to Prime Video, and in it Affleck admitted that he never wanted to make their relationship such a public spectacle.
“Getting back together, I said, ‘Listen, one of the things I don’t want is a relationship on social media,’” he said. “Then I sort of realized it’s not a fair thing to ask. It’s sort of like, you’re gonna marry a boat captain and you go, ‘Well, I don’t like the water.’”
“We’re just two people with different kinds of approaches trying to learn to compromise,” Affleck added.
Lopez herself acknowledged his discomfort and praised his support despite that.
“I don’t think [Ben] is very comfortable with me doing all of this,” she said in the documentary. “But he loves me, he knows I’m an artist, and he’s gonna support me in every way he can because he knows you can’t stop me from making the music I made…he doesn’t want to stop me. But that doesn’t mean he’s comfortable being the muse.”
Also during the film, Affleck asked Lopez if she was still mad at him for their nearly 20-year split.
“I think I was angry at you for a long time,” Lopez admitted. “But that heartbreak set both of us on a course to figuring ourselves out to being better people. I think I’ve forgiven you all the way. I think I need to forgive myself [for] some things.”
March 2024
On Saturday, March 16, Lopez and Affleck brought his 12-year-old son, Samuel, and his friend to watch to Los Angeles Lakers play the Golden State Warriors. Lopez and Affleck watched the game court side and held hands.
The next day, a video posted by a ‘Bennifer’ fan account surfaced, showing the couple standing close together in a hallway of the arena as they waited for the pre-teens to come out of the restroom. In the video, Affleck pulls Lopez closer, and she leans into his chest. She then put her hand on the back of his neck, as they engaged in conversation until the boys returned. The husband and wife took each other by the hand, before they all walked off together.
April 2024
Although this knowledge would not be public until months later, Lopez and Affleck separated on April 26, 2024, according to Lopez’s divorce filing in August 2024.
May 2024
Breakup rumors began to swirl amongst the public. Affleck was photographed leaving his house in Brentwood, California, alone, while TMZ reported that Lopez was spotted house-hunting—also alone.
A source spoke to Entertainment Tonight about how the couple handles negative comments, specifically about Lopez, following the release of her album This Is Me...Now and its accompanying film. “They both know this is part of the business and remind each other that you can’t please everyone,” the insider said. “They acknowledge what really matters, lift each other up, and encourage each other’s talents and capabilities.”
On May 16, the pair were seen at an event for one of Affleck’s children, holding hands and chatting in the parking lot. Then, on May 31, Live Nation announced Lopez was canceling her This Is Me...Live tour to take “time off to be with her children, family, and close friends.” Lopez addressed the news in a statement she shared on her site.
She said, “I am completely heartsick and devastated about letting you down. Please know that I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t feel that it was absolutely necessary. I promise I will make it up to you and we will all be together again. I love you all so much. Until next time…”
June 2024
For Father’s Day, Lopez celebrated Affleck in her Instagram Stories with a sultry black-and-white photo of him, calling him the family’s “hero” in the caption.
On June 20, Affleck appeared on the season 4 premiere of Kevin Hart’s talk show Hart to Heart. During the episode, he explained he is “a little bit shy” when it comes to being photographed by paparazzi, especially compared to his wife. He also contrasted his fame to Lopez’s during the interview: “We went somewhere with [Jennifer]—I can’t remember because she’s so famous, and she creates this—people love her. And she really represents something important to people...[To me,] people are like, ‘Hey, I like your movie,’ and then they’re like ‘AHHHH! J.LO!'” he said. “It’s amazing, you know what I mean?”
July 2024
Affleck moved out of the couple’s house, and on July 24, he closed escrow on a new $20.5 million Los Angeles home, People reported.
August 2024
After spending much of their summer on opposite coasts—Affleck in Los Angeles and Lopez in the Hamptons—Affleck and Lopez reunited in California. People reported that Lopez stopped by Affleck’s Brentwood home on August 11 while he was there. A source told the outlet that Lopez is keen to spend “quality time” with Affleck’s kids “before school resumes, and Violet [Affleck] is off to college.”
Finally, on August 20, 2024, Lopez filed for divorce in Los Angeles Superior Court. The filing took place exactly two years after Lopez and Affleck’s Georgia wedding ceremony.
October 2024
Lopez spoke to Interview magazine about her summer and viewpoint on love following her and Affleck’s breakup.
Back in February, “I felt like, whoa, I got here. I’m good. I did all the work and look at where I am, and then it was like my whole fucking world exploded,” she said.
She acknowledged that is just part of life, saying, “There’s no arrival point. There’s only getting better and growing if you want to. It’s either growing or dying, and I don’t want to do the dying part. And yeah, there’s times when I thought I figured it out, and then life goes, ‘Let’s send you another thing and see if you fall for it. Let’s see if you really have learned that lesson.’ And I hadn’t. I understand that now in a much deeper way, which doesn’t mean that I won’t make mistakes in the future, but again, when your whole house blows up, you’re standing there in the rubble going, ‘How do I not ever let that happen again?’ And then you start examining it little by little saying, ‘Okay, I did this, this was my part in it, this was what I should have seen early on, this is what I didn’t look at.’ Those things are what really are the lessons.”
For relationships to work, you have to be “healthy. You have to be complete, if you want something that’s more complete. You have to be good on your own. I thought I learned that, but I didn’t. And then, this summer, I had to be like, ‘I need to go off and be on my own. I want to prove to myself that I can do that.’”
She shared that now, she isn’t interested in dating. “There’s no new bar because I’m not looking for anybody,” she said. This is a first for her: “For people who are romantics and love being in relationships and want to grow old with somebody, we think, ‘I have to have that to be whole and happy.’ And you don’t.”
Lopez shared that she doesn’t regret the choices she made. “I was thinking about this time in my life, and I’m like, ‘That’s not what I thought it was going to turn out like.’ And then I thought, ‘No, this is exactly where I needed to be, to lead me to where I want to go.””
Lopez wouldn’t spare herself even one second of the pain she felt. “That doesn’t mean it didn’t almost take me out for good,” she said. “It almost did. But now, on the other side of it, I think to myself, ‘Fuck, that is exactly what I needed. Thank you, god. I’m sorry it took me so long. I’m sorry that you had to do this to me so many times. I should have learned it two or three times ago. I get it. You had to hit me really hard over the head with a fucking sledgehammer. You dropped the house on me. Don’t have to do it again.’”
That same month, a source told People that “this has been one of the hardest years for Jennifer...She didn’t want to file for divorce. She just felt like she had no choice. Nothing was gonna change with Ben.”
The insider continued, “She was very upset about it. But true to her positive outlook on life, she’s moving forward with optimism. Instead of feeling like she’s fallen flat on her face, she sees it was meant to be. She’s taking time for herself right now. She knows she lives a privileged life in so many ways. She’s very grateful for all the beautiful memories with Ben, but she’s now focused on creating the best future for herself and her kids.”
Aimée Lutkin
Aimée Lutkin is the weekend editor at ELLE.com. Her writing has appeared in Jezebel, Glamour, Marie Claire and more. Her first book, The Lonely Hunter, will be released by Dial Press in February 2022.
Alyssa Bailey
Senior News and Strategy Editor
Alyssa is the Senior News and Strategy Editor at ELLE.com, where she oversees coverage of celebrities and royals (particularly Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton). She previously held positions at InStyle and Cosmopolitan. When she's not working, she loves running around Central Park, making people take #OOTD pics of her, and exploring New York City.